It's Delle!

Someone on the WW boards mentioned they read my blog (news to me, I didn't think anybody stopped by here aside from my best friend!), so I thought I should put a little blurb about me. I made this journal so I can keep track of the things I'm doing and how I'm thinking and feeling as I journey along the road to getting thinner. It's not intended to be written to an audience, it is honestly something I am writing to myself, and I find it so helpful to be able to look back even 4 months ago and see what kinds of things I was many of our experiences in life slip through the cracks, and I want to remember as many of them as I can in relation to my weight loss; the good, the bad, and even the oh so ugly ones!

So many people say they've struggled with their weight for years, but this is not tue for me. I've been overweight from my earliest memories, and morbidly obese all of my adult life, but I was not the type to yo-yo diet, so in that sense I was not struggling. I don't know what my highest weight was because I didn't have a scale to weigh myself when I started getting set to lose weight. In the year before I started WW I started trying to eat less junk food and to get a little activity into my routine. When I started WW I was 288 lbs and wearing a size 22, and I know the year before I was wearing a size 26 (which was tight on me), so I'm guessing I was easily in the low 300 lb-range at my highest weight.

For the first year of my weight loss journey I was incredibly focussed and motivated. I was keeping my weight loss a secret from my family back home in Newfoundland, and my goal was to surprise them on my trip home in July. Needless to say it was quite a shock to a lot of people when I showed up over 100 lbs lighter without any warning!

Right now I am getting back on track after my trip back home. I wasn't following WW for a while due to comp issues, not to mention life issues, and I've gained back some of the weight I had lost. I got away from journalling, but I'm back at it again and am using it to help me get my focus back. I also like using it to keep track of my activity, although I've not had an organised execise regime for a few months now due to an injury. I'm getting back into my activity, however, and I will be updating all my numbers soon.

As I said, I don't write in this blog with an audience in mind, but if anyone had any questions or comments on anything here, please don't hesitate to post!

BTW, the name of my blog came from a comment my supervisor at work made one day when I was in the middle of a full-blown rant about something I had to do that was infuriating me. He interrupted me and said something to the tune of, "Don't worry about it you don't have to do it. And my goodness look at you! Where are you going, everytime I see you, you're smaller! It's crazy, you're the incredible shrinking woman!!" The moment was funny and unexpected and seemed to sum up my life right now, so I came home and re-titled my blog.

Now all I need is a cape...

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Love, laugh, and cry with all your heart

It's Chocolate Day, and I have managed to avoid the siren call, however hard it's been. I do so miss chocolate, one of my true vices!

Feeling that wonderful quiet ache in my muscles again. I did another full round, that made three days this week, and while it wasn't easy by any means (especially the free weights), I feel less fatigued afterward than I had been last Wednesday when I did it, so I believe things are going well. If I was overstressing myself, it would be harder as I go, but that first day doing a full round was harder than today so I am not worried. I was initially planning to go two days before another full round, but my work schedule changed for this week, so it looks like I will be doing a repeat on Tuesday after all, because Wednesday will be out now. I'm pleased with this week's activity, very pleased, and if next week goes the same, I will still be able to meet my activity goal for the month, even with those two slack weeks I had. I've not been on the elliptical in weeks, but with these new exercises I've been doing, my quads (more specifically my vastuslateralis) have been constantly achy, so I've stayed off the elliptical in order to give them time to recoop in between times. I'm still not happy with my form whilst doing the lunges tho, or doing the side planks in the pilates workout. Something for me to work on.

Had a decent WI this week, all things considered; I was a very bad girl the night before WI, ended up not having supper because I was tired and just wanted to go to bed. So if I'd been good, I probably would have logged a STS, or near enough. However, I'm keeping in line with my new committment not to let the scale be the end all be all, and I'm not fussing over it. I'm not thinking about the number on the scale and have been thinking instead about my activity numbers, and how so many people mentioned to me this week about how good I'm looking. From here on out I guess every pound worked off will truly make a difference. With this week's WI, officially I am now under the number of 30 lbs to my goal, which suddenly makes it all the more real to me. 28 and some odd pounds to go...that hardly seems real. It's going to take some time to sink in. Numbers in the 20s seem a lot less than numbers in the 30s for some reason...which is probably a huge factor in why I started my journey when I did. I am too aware of the fact that I am on the verge of leaving my 20s behind to enter my 30s, and I want to do it in the best shape that I can be, to offset the turmoil I will be feeling at entering that new decade. 28.2 lbs to goal is only 2 pounds less than 30.2 lbs, but nonetheless, it seems like a LOT less. It also clicked sometime after I updated my stats after WI this week that I am creeping ever close to a huge milestone, namely getting into Onederland. I've not been thinking of that hardly at all, with how focussed I've been on reaching each 10 lb milestone. Suddenly it seems like I am right at the door, without hardly having been thinking of it at all. I definitely got some extremely exciting and motivating milestones not far ahead of me!

My mood is better today than it had been yesterday. Not sure why, exactly, could be any number of reasons. The fact that it is sunday, for one thing. This is my day, after all. I don't have to work, and I don't have to be around people I don't want to be around. The exercise also helps a lot; I find I don't do much thinking when I'm doing exercises other than the WATP, and while I do that I'm still usually thinking positive, motivating thoughts about my journey so far, and getting to goal. I also spent a few hours listening to music earlier today before I exercised (which is why I'm so late tonight finishing up) and that always helps restore some of my equilibrium. I had a moment of clarity about something, and while it's not a happy thing, it helps me understand some of the feelings I've been having. Spring is creeping up on us, a time of rebirth and of things coming to life, it is 8:30pm and it's only now just gone dark outside. There are more things coming to life than the things I see outside, underneath the snow. I came into this year thinking it was going to be mine. I might not be particularly happy now, but I will not give up on that. The pains I am feeling now are unavoidable, and are necessary in order to reach an eventual end. The process might not be particularly pleasant, I might have never intended it, but in order for things to play out to the best case scenario, it is all necessary. All right, enough of being cryptic for one night, time to get sorted and get to bed.

Earned 11 APs today: 30 min walk aerobics (2-mile), 20 min core, 15 min lower body, 50 min shoulders, 35 min biceps/triceps, 15 min chest.

Weekly summary:
Earned 39 APs
9.8 hours (590 min) total activity
11 miles (17.7 kms) walked
19 FPs remaining
2.0 lbs lost
Current weight: 206.2

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