It's Delle!

Someone on the WW boards mentioned they read my blog (news to me, I didn't think anybody stopped by here aside from my best friend!), so I thought I should put a little blurb about me. I made this journal so I can keep track of the things I'm doing and how I'm thinking and feeling as I journey along the road to getting thinner. It's not intended to be written to an audience, it is honestly something I am writing to myself, and I find it so helpful to be able to look back even 4 months ago and see what kinds of things I was many of our experiences in life slip through the cracks, and I want to remember as many of them as I can in relation to my weight loss; the good, the bad, and even the oh so ugly ones!

So many people say they've struggled with their weight for years, but this is not tue for me. I've been overweight from my earliest memories, and morbidly obese all of my adult life, but I was not the type to yo-yo diet, so in that sense I was not struggling. I don't know what my highest weight was because I didn't have a scale to weigh myself when I started getting set to lose weight. In the year before I started WW I started trying to eat less junk food and to get a little activity into my routine. When I started WW I was 288 lbs and wearing a size 22, and I know the year before I was wearing a size 26 (which was tight on me), so I'm guessing I was easily in the low 300 lb-range at my highest weight.

For the first year of my weight loss journey I was incredibly focussed and motivated. I was keeping my weight loss a secret from my family back home in Newfoundland, and my goal was to surprise them on my trip home in July. Needless to say it was quite a shock to a lot of people when I showed up over 100 lbs lighter without any warning!

Right now I am getting back on track after my trip back home. I wasn't following WW for a while due to comp issues, not to mention life issues, and I've gained back some of the weight I had lost. I got away from journalling, but I'm back at it again and am using it to help me get my focus back. I also like using it to keep track of my activity, although I've not had an organised execise regime for a few months now due to an injury. I'm getting back into my activity, however, and I will be updating all my numbers soon.

As I said, I don't write in this blog with an audience in mind, but if anyone had any questions or comments on anything here, please don't hesitate to post!

BTW, the name of my blog came from a comment my supervisor at work made one day when I was in the middle of a full-blown rant about something I had to do that was infuriating me. He interrupted me and said something to the tune of, "Don't worry about it you don't have to do it. And my goodness look at you! Where are you going, everytime I see you, you're smaller! It's crazy, you're the incredible shrinking woman!!" The moment was funny and unexpected and seemed to sum up my life right now, so I came home and re-titled my blog.

Now all I need is a cape...

Monday, March 24, 2008

Every thawing heart

It was a decent day. I near froze my arse off waiting for the bus this morning, but thankfully it was warm at work and I was able to thaw out again in an almost timely manner. Monday is always a long day, but it went as quickly as you can really hope for. A former co-worker who comes in sometimes was in the dept to say hi and when he saw me he was full of praise about my appearance, said every time he sees me I'm smaller and he can't get over it. I don't remember if I mentioned it last week but I had two other coworkers mention it last week. When I got dressed the morning after Paddy's Day I felt like I was five pounds lighter from the day before, my clothes seemed to fit differently and everything. Of course I had indulged the night before and had been naughty, but it still felt like a drastic difference in just one day. I suppose I might have been bloated/retaining the day before and was no longer, but I went to work just knowing I would get comments when usually I get none, and sure enough two people commented before the store was even open. I'm finding I'm self conscious when people ask me how much weight I've lost, and I never tell. When I started I remember having a conversation with M about it, and she said how she hated people asking her that and that she never gave a number. At the time I was thinking that personally I would be happy to tell people a number, because I'd be so proud. And yet here I am, not telling anyone who isn't a close friend that I've talked to about WW. Goes to show you don't know sometimes till you actually live it. I am proud, but I don't feel comfortable sharing the number, and I don't exactly understand why. Part of it is liking to maintain some privacy about my life, but it's still so strange. I suppose admitting a number can be hard because it forces you to publically own up to just how overweight you were. When I think about people knowing I'm on WW and how much I've lost exactly I'm always aware of how it will fuel people talking about me 'behind my back'. It would be positive, but I don't like thinking about people talking about me. It's all rather bizarre, maybe I'll understand it another day when I'm not so pleasantly tired.

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