It's Delle!

Someone on the WW boards mentioned they read my blog (news to me, I didn't think anybody stopped by here aside from my best friend!), so I thought I should put a little blurb about me. I made this journal so I can keep track of the things I'm doing and how I'm thinking and feeling as I journey along the road to getting thinner. It's not intended to be written to an audience, it is honestly something I am writing to myself, and I find it so helpful to be able to look back even 4 months ago and see what kinds of things I was many of our experiences in life slip through the cracks, and I want to remember as many of them as I can in relation to my weight loss; the good, the bad, and even the oh so ugly ones!

So many people say they've struggled with their weight for years, but this is not tue for me. I've been overweight from my earliest memories, and morbidly obese all of my adult life, but I was not the type to yo-yo diet, so in that sense I was not struggling. I don't know what my highest weight was because I didn't have a scale to weigh myself when I started getting set to lose weight. In the year before I started WW I started trying to eat less junk food and to get a little activity into my routine. When I started WW I was 288 lbs and wearing a size 22, and I know the year before I was wearing a size 26 (which was tight on me), so I'm guessing I was easily in the low 300 lb-range at my highest weight.

For the first year of my weight loss journey I was incredibly focussed and motivated. I was keeping my weight loss a secret from my family back home in Newfoundland, and my goal was to surprise them on my trip home in July. Needless to say it was quite a shock to a lot of people when I showed up over 100 lbs lighter without any warning!

Right now I am getting back on track after my trip back home. I wasn't following WW for a while due to comp issues, not to mention life issues, and I've gained back some of the weight I had lost. I got away from journalling, but I'm back at it again and am using it to help me get my focus back. I also like using it to keep track of my activity, although I've not had an organised execise regime for a few months now due to an injury. I'm getting back into my activity, however, and I will be updating all my numbers soon.

As I said, I don't write in this blog with an audience in mind, but if anyone had any questions or comments on anything here, please don't hesitate to post!

BTW, the name of my blog came from a comment my supervisor at work made one day when I was in the middle of a full-blown rant about something I had to do that was infuriating me. He interrupted me and said something to the tune of, "Don't worry about it you don't have to do it. And my goodness look at you! Where are you going, everytime I see you, you're smaller! It's crazy, you're the incredible shrinking woman!!" The moment was funny and unexpected and seemed to sum up my life right now, so I came home and re-titled my blog.

Now all I need is a cape...

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Stranger things could never change my mind

1 week, 6 days till Home!!!!!!!
-OP: yes
-activity: yes

My day was thrown off by plans that got changed in the afternoon, so I actually didn't have a dinner meal today. Definitely not preferable and I'm not pleased about it, but I could have had a late dinner but it would have meant a late supper, and I just chose to skip it and have supper at a proper supper time instead. I've been eating supper late at night again, and I really would like to get out of that habit. And I can't even blame it on work, it's just been because I've been letting myself get off schedule in the daytimes.

But either way, I'm fed and watered at a decent time for once, and I even had a big dessert of aple muffins which I made again, and my toes are all but curling at how delicious I find them. They truly satisfy my sweet tooth and they have a good heft to them, I expect I'll be making a lot of muffins from now on. I love how I can eat food I find so delicious and still lose weight!

Speaking of which, the scale is starting to move down again, thankfully. I've been at a standstill of sorts for over a month and it was starting to get annoying. I've been working hard, it's nice when the number reflects where my body is actually at. But even if it doesn't, I'm MUCH more concerned with being happier with my body than what the number is. I don't care if the number stands stock still for the next few weeks, as long as I notice a difference in my body size/shape. I tried on my goal shirt again today to try and gauge whether or not I could wear it in 2 weeks, and I honestly have no idea. I would almost think I could, if I worked hard and managed to lose more fat between now and then, but at the same time I'm clueless when it comes to clothes, and it might not look good on me. The thing is, I see girls all the time wearing body-hugging shirts while having rolls or big tummys. Now the argument could be made that they shouldn't be wearing them because it is not flattering, but all I see is that it is common that bigger girls wear tight clothes. I've worn shirts that hug my body since I've gotten thinner, and I guess the thing for me is that even tho I still got rolls, I'm smaller than I was, and I don't think I look so bad when I wear tighter shirts. Yes it would be preferable to have a flat stomach, but my stomach is a lot better than it was, and that is probably why I don't feel I look so terrible. But still, I don't want to be wearing clothes that no one would want to see me in. I wish I was able to figure these things out, but I guess I'll just have to try on the shirt for someone else and get their opinion. I would really love to wear the shirt, but not if people will think I look awful in it. Yes, it is what i think that matters, but in this case I'm not sure what I think, unlike the shirts I already wear.

Of course it might just all be a moot point anyway; I took progress pics yesterday and for the life of me I couldn't see a difference in my body from now and last March, so it might be too much to expect that I will make any progress on my body in hte next two weeks. I'm determined to try tho, I've done a tonn of exercise this week already, I did my workout today and a walk, and I'll do another walk tomorrow and hopefully some other form of activity too. I even made my workout a little harder today, increasing the intensity of one exercise and doing more of another. I'm feeling tired tonight but in a good way, and my body feels good. My quads were a little sore today and so were my biceps for some reason when I was lifting, but even after the jogging yesterday I felt no different today otherwise. I have to make sure I'm getting my food in over three meals a day tho and none of this skipping meals business. I need to be especially disciplined the next 2 weeks, it won't be long now! And I'm really becoming aware of how happy I'll be to have the suspense over with; I had an anxiety dream last night where I went home and no one noticed a difference. I was so upset that when I woke up I almost started crying. I've been dreaming of this for so long, I'm getting paranoid that I've built something up out of nothing. Well, 1 week, 6 days of hard work and then I will know, for better or for worse.

Earned 13 APs today: 30 min walk aerobics (2-mile), 20 min core, 15 min lower body, 35 min shoulders, 20 min biceps/triceps, 15 min chest, 80 min brisk walking

No comments: