Year's Long Night

Last night was the year's longest night, and yet another winter solstice has come and gone. Normally I celebrate the night in some way, usually in a private, reflective manner. Last night however I had to go to bed early on account of having to work this morning, and I never got to stay up and enjoy it properly. Instead I had to wait until tonight for the time to relax and reflect, and I ended up not getting any activity in. I guess tis the time of year for schedules to be messed up and routines to be thrown off. This week will also be difficult, with extra hours at work and longer commute times due to holiday bus schedules and heavy traffic. Next thing we know it will be January and we'll be wondering where the hell the time went, with another New Year upon us.

Work was fine this morning, it was less busy early on than I had expected, but it was steady enough, and the time went very quickly. When I was getting ready to leave, things started getting really crazy, and there were so many people about, it was hard to maneuver around the dept. I wasn't tempted to ask for extra hours, and instead left as soon as my shift was over. I was looking forward to getting home where it was quiet. There was still a bunch of chocolate about at work, and at one point when I was looking for something in the drawer, I thought, "If there is an open package in there, I'm having some of it and I don't care!" and there was in fact an open package and I looked at it, but I closed the drawer without having any. I told myself that if I want chocolate so badly, I can make some pudding for dessert after supper, which tastes chocolately, and is very points friendly. I could have had a salad with supper, but I was frankly too lazy to go about making one, and I preferred to eat less food than go through any trouble. After a long day I sometimes just want less fuss more than I want more food. I did eat all my DPs tho, which isn't hard lately. I have noticed the past couple weeks that I have to eat less food than I find I want, just eating within my DPs. Missing out on my normal amount of activity means missing out on eating a lot of APs. I never really thought about it before today, but I've been getting on average 50 more points a week to eat. No wonder not having it has made such a difference...50 points can amount to a lot of food! Maybe that's why I've been having good losses the past two weeks, despite not getting much activity in. Either way, I intend to keep up with the activity and to eat those points when I feel the need, because I do feel lately like I am getting less to eat than I want. Maybe that's why the chocolate has been so tempting. But then that could just as easily be hormones. Or the fact that I love chocolate. Whatever, all I care about is that I have been eating within my DPs and the world has not ended, despite feeling hungry sometimes and being tempted to eat more. I'm learning that I can deal with such things just fine, and that is valuable.