It's Delle!

Someone on the WW boards mentioned they read my blog (news to me, I didn't think anybody stopped by here aside from my best friend!), so I thought I should put a little blurb about me. I made this journal so I can keep track of the things I'm doing and how I'm thinking and feeling as I journey along the road to getting thinner. It's not intended to be written to an audience, it is honestly something I am writing to myself, and I find it so helpful to be able to look back even 4 months ago and see what kinds of things I was many of our experiences in life slip through the cracks, and I want to remember as many of them as I can in relation to my weight loss; the good, the bad, and even the oh so ugly ones!

So many people say they've struggled with their weight for years, but this is not tue for me. I've been overweight from my earliest memories, and morbidly obese all of my adult life, but I was not the type to yo-yo diet, so in that sense I was not struggling. I don't know what my highest weight was because I didn't have a scale to weigh myself when I started getting set to lose weight. In the year before I started WW I started trying to eat less junk food and to get a little activity into my routine. When I started WW I was 288 lbs and wearing a size 22, and I know the year before I was wearing a size 26 (which was tight on me), so I'm guessing I was easily in the low 300 lb-range at my highest weight.

For the first year of my weight loss journey I was incredibly focussed and motivated. I was keeping my weight loss a secret from my family back home in Newfoundland, and my goal was to surprise them on my trip home in July. Needless to say it was quite a shock to a lot of people when I showed up over 100 lbs lighter without any warning!

Right now I am getting back on track after my trip back home. I wasn't following WW for a while due to comp issues, not to mention life issues, and I've gained back some of the weight I had lost. I got away from journalling, but I'm back at it again and am using it to help me get my focus back. I also like using it to keep track of my activity, although I've not had an organised execise regime for a few months now due to an injury. I'm getting back into my activity, however, and I will be updating all my numbers soon.

As I said, I don't write in this blog with an audience in mind, but if anyone had any questions or comments on anything here, please don't hesitate to post!

BTW, the name of my blog came from a comment my supervisor at work made one day when I was in the middle of a full-blown rant about something I had to do that was infuriating me. He interrupted me and said something to the tune of, "Don't worry about it you don't have to do it. And my goodness look at you! Where are you going, everytime I see you, you're smaller! It's crazy, you're the incredible shrinking woman!!" The moment was funny and unexpected and seemed to sum up my life right now, so I came home and re-titled my blog.

Now all I need is a cape...

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Not impressed

I had a fit of the sullens yesterday when I did my WI and "only" lost 1 lb instead of 2.2 like I had hoped for so badly. I has planned to exercise before I went to work, but I ended up deciding I wasn't going to. I was actually quite annoyed with exercise, as in my mind I was blaming it for my "bad loss" if any loss is bad!!! Either way I got over it, it just took a day of being angry with exercise, then an evening of being angry with myself. Not that I was actually angry with anyone. Well, okay, so I WAS angry with exercise, and we weren't speaking, but I wasn't truly angry with myself. I just had a long talk with myself (through D btw, the poor guy had to listen to me rant about all this at work) about what's important and reminded myself of the whole reason for setting reasonable goals for one's self as opposed to goals one cannot control. This is exactly why I do not set goals to lose X amount of pounds in a week! Instead of being ecstatic that I had a loss, I was actually bummed out that it was not a bigger loss! Talk about having screwed up priorities! Well, I'm over it, lesson LEARNED. Today on the WW boards I was reading posts asking if people wanted to sign up for challenges for January, and one is about committing to a certain amount of exercise for the month, the other is to pledge to try and lose X lbs for the month, and I was thinking I would join both, but then I told myself that it does not work for me to start concentrating on numbers of lbs. Yes, I set a loss goal when I was part of the PC challenge, but the PC challenge went on for months, and I set a reasonable goal for that time and met it halfway through. I am not going to start setting monthly goals, I do not want to start getting obsessive over the scale. I believe I will join the activity challenge tho, I am just still trying to decide on how many minutes to pledge. I knew long before I started WW that I have to be careful about my obsessive personality, and that if I let myself go unchecked I could be an eating disorder waitng to happen. I have kept a completely healthy perspective throughout my journey to this point, I can control whether I continue in that vein, and I absolutely choose to remain healthy-minded and to not start turning this into a numbers game. If anything, my only goal overall is not to gain weight, and even that is on a month to month basis.

It is about being healthy, and I am doing a great job so far.

The day before yesterday I ran half a block to reach the bus, and when I sat down it suddenly hit me that half a year ago I would have been breathing hard from just that little burst of speed. I know because I'd experienced it. But now it doesn't even make me breathe hard.

I'd just worked four 8-hour shifts in a row, and my feet were only the tiniest bit sore last night. Half a year ago they would have been so painful I wouldn't have been able to think of anything else.

THAT'S what it's about, god damn it.

What a wonderful opportunity this was to reaffirm my committment to a healthy lifestyle, and to remember what exactly it is that I am dedicated to doing here!

Bring it.

I'm ready.

Earned 22 APs today: 15 min low-intensity DDR, 75 min mod-indensity DDR, 95 min brisk walking, 60 min free weights, 20 min stairs (8x)

Weekly summary:
Earned 45 APs
9.3 hours (560 min) total activity
12 miles (19.3 kms) walked
11 FPs remaining
1 lb lost

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