It's Delle!

Someone on the WW boards mentioned they read my blog (news to me, I didn't think anybody stopped by here aside from my best friend!), so I thought I should put a little blurb about me. I made this journal so I can keep track of the things I'm doing and how I'm thinking and feeling as I journey along the road to getting thinner. It's not intended to be written to an audience, it is honestly something I am writing to myself, and I find it so helpful to be able to look back even 4 months ago and see what kinds of things I was many of our experiences in life slip through the cracks, and I want to remember as many of them as I can in relation to my weight loss; the good, the bad, and even the oh so ugly ones!

So many people say they've struggled with their weight for years, but this is not tue for me. I've been overweight from my earliest memories, and morbidly obese all of my adult life, but I was not the type to yo-yo diet, so in that sense I was not struggling. I don't know what my highest weight was because I didn't have a scale to weigh myself when I started getting set to lose weight. In the year before I started WW I started trying to eat less junk food and to get a little activity into my routine. When I started WW I was 288 lbs and wearing a size 22, and I know the year before I was wearing a size 26 (which was tight on me), so I'm guessing I was easily in the low 300 lb-range at my highest weight.

For the first year of my weight loss journey I was incredibly focussed and motivated. I was keeping my weight loss a secret from my family back home in Newfoundland, and my goal was to surprise them on my trip home in July. Needless to say it was quite a shock to a lot of people when I showed up over 100 lbs lighter without any warning!

Right now I am getting back on track after my trip back home. I wasn't following WW for a while due to comp issues, not to mention life issues, and I've gained back some of the weight I had lost. I got away from journalling, but I'm back at it again and am using it to help me get my focus back. I also like using it to keep track of my activity, although I've not had an organised execise regime for a few months now due to an injury. I'm getting back into my activity, however, and I will be updating all my numbers soon.

As I said, I don't write in this blog with an audience in mind, but if anyone had any questions or comments on anything here, please don't hesitate to post!

BTW, the name of my blog came from a comment my supervisor at work made one day when I was in the middle of a full-blown rant about something I had to do that was infuriating me. He interrupted me and said something to the tune of, "Don't worry about it you don't have to do it. And my goodness look at you! Where are you going, everytime I see you, you're smaller! It's crazy, you're the incredible shrinking woman!!" The moment was funny and unexpected and seemed to sum up my life right now, so I came home and re-titled my blog.

Now all I need is a cape...

Friday, May 30, 2008

Lovely day for a Guinness

4 weeks, 5 days till Home!
-OP: yes
activity: yes

It is a wee bit of a stormy night, complete with rain, thunder and lightening, and I am enjoying a cold Guinness while I come down for the day. The thunder gives me delightful shivers from head to toe, and I wish it would go on all night. There is nothing quite like the sound of rain and thunder, especially at night time. Mostly I'm just glad the rain held off till after I got home from work. Work is stressful enough lately without having to wait in the rain for my bus afterward. I was thinking there would be food there today, and was looking forward to stuffing my belly full of their fruits and veggies, but they played it small today and just had sandwiches and doughnuts. There was also cake. Thankfully I always come prepared with my own food, so I didn't go hungry. I did want a sandwich and some cake tho, and I did consider a sandwich, but I didn't know if there was sauce on it, and it was easier just to eat my own supper that I brought. I'd intended to get a workout in today, and I attempted to get up early enough to get one in, but I slept in till 7am, and was a little slow getting breakfast because I had to walk to the store for milk, and I ended up getting distracted by the comp and was tired besides, and didn't get it in. I committed to doing it when I got home tonight, but I was too tired to consider it, so I did the elliptical again, and resigned myself to making up for it later. Everything has a price, and I accept that I will have to do more workouts this upcoming week to make up for it. I'll have a lot less hours to work, so I'm considering workout out every second day between tomorrow and the rest of the week. That will be challenging, but I have a whole week to make up for, having had no time for strength training. I'm not going to strictly hold myself to a S-M-W-F-S schedule, but I will work out 4 times, anyway. I dreamed last night that I went home to see my family, and I wanted to surprise them like I'm planning, but family members kept coming across me before I was ready, and friends kept almost giving me away besides. And it didn't seem like they noticed a difference when they saw me, they just thought I was home for an unexpected visit. It's crazy how much this comes up in my's constant! After M visited a couple weeks ago, I'd accepted for a while that I am different and thinner, and that there is a big change. Between she and F telling me, I finally felt more relaxed about wondering whether I really look different, and worrying that the change won't be drastic enough for my family to really notice. Unfortuately however, the fear and worry has creeped in again, and I'm back to fretting that I won't be adequately different for when I go home. I really want to surprise them, and I feel like I'm running out of time to get thin enough to really wow them. It's been such a motivator for me, it's something I've always wanted to do. I've struggled with the perfectionist in me, and in this, she is rearing her head like no one's business. I hate feeling like I've not come far enough to make that much of a difference in this, I hate feeling like I won't be able to make that goal. I'm proud of what I've done, without one doubt, I just really want this so badly, to be really different when I see my family.

Earned 7 APs today: 50 min elliptical

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