4 weeks, 5 days till Home!
-OP: yes
activity: yes
It is a wee bit of a stormy night, complete with rain, thunder and lightening, and I am enjoying a cold Guinness while I come down for the day. The thunder gives me delightful shivers from head to toe, and I wish it would go on all night. There is nothing quite like the sound of rain and thunder, especially at night time. Mostly I'm just glad the rain held off till after I got home from work. Work is stressful enough lately without having to wait in the rain for my bus afterward. I was thinking there would be food there today, and was looking forward to stuffing my belly full of their fruits and veggies, but they played it small today and just had sandwiches and doughnuts. There was also cake. Thankfully I always come prepared with my own food, so I didn't go hungry. I did want a sandwich and some cake tho, and I did consider a sandwich, but I didn't know if there was sauce on it, and it was easier just to eat my own supper that I brought. I'd intended to get a workout in today, and I attempted to get up early enough to get one in, but I slept in till 7am, and was a little slow getting breakfast because I had to walk to the store for milk, and I ended up getting distracted by the comp and was tired besides, and didn't get it in. I committed to doing it when I got home tonight, but I was too tired to consider it, so I did the elliptical again, and resigned myself to making up for it later. Everything has a price, and I accept that I will have to do more workouts this upcoming week to make up for it. I'll have a lot less hours to work, so I'm considering workout out every second day between tomorrow and the rest of the week. That will be challenging, but I have a whole week to make up for, having had no time for strength training. I'm not going to strictly hold myself to a S-M-W-F-S schedule, but I will work out 4 times, anyway. I dreamed last night that I went home to see my family, and I wanted to surprise them like I'm planning, but family members kept coming across me before I was ready, and friends kept almost giving me away besides. And it didn't seem like they noticed a difference when they saw me, they just thought I was home for an unexpected visit. It's crazy how much this comes up in my dreams...it's constant! After M visited a couple weeks ago, I'd accepted for a while that I am different and thinner, and that there is a big change. Between she and F telling me, I finally felt more relaxed about wondering whether I really look different, and worrying that the change won't be drastic enough for my family to really notice. Unfortuately however, the fear and worry has creeped in again, and I'm back to fretting that I won't be adequately different for when I go home. I really want to surprise them, and I feel like I'm running out of time to get thin enough to really wow them. It's been such a motivator for me, it's something I've always wanted to do. I've struggled with the perfectionist in me, and in this, she is rearing her head like no one's business. I hate feeling like I've not come far enough to make that much of a difference in this, I hate feeling like I won't be able to make that goal. I'm proud of what I've done, without one doubt, I just really want this so badly, to be really different when I see my family.
Earned 7 APs today: 50 min elliptical
-OP: yes
activity: yes
It is a wee bit of a stormy night, complete with rain, thunder and lightening, and I am enjoying a cold Guinness while I come down for the day. The thunder gives me delightful shivers from head to toe, and I wish it would go on all night. There is nothing quite like the sound of rain and thunder, especially at night time. Mostly I'm just glad the rain held off till after I got home from work. Work is stressful enough lately without having to wait in the rain for my bus afterward. I was thinking there would be food there today, and was looking forward to stuffing my belly full of their fruits and veggies, but they played it small today and just had sandwiches and doughnuts. There was also cake. Thankfully I always come prepared with my own food, so I didn't go hungry. I did want a sandwich and some cake tho, and I did consider a sandwich, but I didn't know if there was sauce on it, and it was easier just to eat my own supper that I brought. I'd intended to get a workout in today, and I attempted to get up early enough to get one in, but I slept in till 7am, and was a little slow getting breakfast because I had to walk to the store for milk, and I ended up getting distracted by the comp and was tired besides, and didn't get it in. I committed to doing it when I got home tonight, but I was too tired to consider it, so I did the elliptical again, and resigned myself to making up for it later. Everything has a price, and I accept that I will have to do more workouts this upcoming week to make up for it. I'll have a lot less hours to work, so I'm considering workout out every second day between tomorrow and the rest of the week. That will be challenging, but I have a whole week to make up for, having had no time for strength training. I'm not going to strictly hold myself to a S-M-W-F-S schedule, but I will work out 4 times, anyway. I dreamed last night that I went home to see my family, and I wanted to surprise them like I'm planning, but family members kept coming across me before I was ready, and friends kept almost giving me away besides. And it didn't seem like they noticed a difference when they saw me, they just thought I was home for an unexpected visit. It's crazy how much this comes up in my dreams...it's constant! After M visited a couple weeks ago, I'd accepted for a while that I am different and thinner, and that there is a big change. Between she and F telling me, I finally felt more relaxed about wondering whether I really look different, and worrying that the change won't be drastic enough for my family to really notice. Unfortuately however, the fear and worry has creeped in again, and I'm back to fretting that I won't be adequately different for when I go home. I really want to surprise them, and I feel like I'm running out of time to get thin enough to really wow them. It's been such a motivator for me, it's something I've always wanted to do. I've struggled with the perfectionist in me, and in this, she is rearing her head like no one's business. I hate feeling like I've not come far enough to make that much of a difference in this, I hate feeling like I won't be able to make that goal. I'm proud of what I've done, without one doubt, I just really want this so badly, to be really different when I see my family.
Earned 7 APs today: 50 min elliptical
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