It's Delle!

Someone on the WW boards mentioned they read my blog (news to me, I didn't think anybody stopped by here aside from my best friend!), so I thought I should put a little blurb about me. I made this journal so I can keep track of the things I'm doing and how I'm thinking and feeling as I journey along the road to getting thinner. It's not intended to be written to an audience, it is honestly something I am writing to myself, and I find it so helpful to be able to look back even 4 months ago and see what kinds of things I was many of our experiences in life slip through the cracks, and I want to remember as many of them as I can in relation to my weight loss; the good, the bad, and even the oh so ugly ones!

So many people say they've struggled with their weight for years, but this is not tue for me. I've been overweight from my earliest memories, and morbidly obese all of my adult life, but I was not the type to yo-yo diet, so in that sense I was not struggling. I don't know what my highest weight was because I didn't have a scale to weigh myself when I started getting set to lose weight. In the year before I started WW I started trying to eat less junk food and to get a little activity into my routine. When I started WW I was 288 lbs and wearing a size 22, and I know the year before I was wearing a size 26 (which was tight on me), so I'm guessing I was easily in the low 300 lb-range at my highest weight.

For the first year of my weight loss journey I was incredibly focussed and motivated. I was keeping my weight loss a secret from my family back home in Newfoundland, and my goal was to surprise them on my trip home in July. Needless to say it was quite a shock to a lot of people when I showed up over 100 lbs lighter without any warning!

Right now I am getting back on track after my trip back home. I wasn't following WW for a while due to comp issues, not to mention life issues, and I've gained back some of the weight I had lost. I got away from journalling, but I'm back at it again and am using it to help me get my focus back. I also like using it to keep track of my activity, although I've not had an organised execise regime for a few months now due to an injury. I'm getting back into my activity, however, and I will be updating all my numbers soon.

As I said, I don't write in this blog with an audience in mind, but if anyone had any questions or comments on anything here, please don't hesitate to post!

BTW, the name of my blog came from a comment my supervisor at work made one day when I was in the middle of a full-blown rant about something I had to do that was infuriating me. He interrupted me and said something to the tune of, "Don't worry about it you don't have to do it. And my goodness look at you! Where are you going, everytime I see you, you're smaller! It's crazy, you're the incredible shrinking woman!!" The moment was funny and unexpected and seemed to sum up my life right now, so I came home and re-titled my blog.

Now all I need is a cape...

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Dreaming of things you want

5 days till Nightwish!!
-OP: yes
-activity: yes

It's been a long day and I am tired, but I feel pretty good physically and otherwise. Work was fine, some frustration there at the end, but spending time with D makes up for it. I had a wonderful, wonderful lunch break, just before the dinner rush when the lunchroom fills up and gets noisy. I had the room to myself, no tv on, the newspaper was interesting, and my food was sooo delicious. I finally got around to trying out the spaghetti squash I bought, and the results were all I could hope for. Spaghetti squash will definitely be on my menu often. The same with zucchini; D took me shopping today and I bought both. I'm still horrified at the amount of money I've been spending on food, but I'm being as frugal as possible, and I'm not wasting anything. I just need to accept the fact that food is expensive these days. Either way I did splurge yesterday and fried out the lean ground beef that had been sitting in my freezer for a couple of months, and threw it in the spaghetti squash lasagna I made, along with some peppers. The smell of the meat was enough to make me weak-legged...made me think of all the times I used to make my own nachos. I find it immensely pleasing that I'm confident enough to tweak recipes to try out things I might like. The meat really set the meal off, tho I think next time I will use less of it to keep the points down. I showed D my leftovers today because I was so proud, and he actually was covetting my dinner, which made me ecstatic because it was something I actually made myself! I could hardly believe that someone would really want something I made, definitely an awesome feeling! I bought a few ingredients today that I've not had before, and I'm ready to try another new recipe or two and see if I like them. Who knows, maybe I'll get the hang of this whole cooking thing someday :D

I have soo much to do tomorrow. I want to try and see a physician on account of my ears are starting to drive me round the bend with the way they get all crazy and make it sound like I'm under water or stuck half way through a yawn. It used to only happen when I exercised, but now it happens more often; yesterday at work it was happening constantly and I thought I was going to yank them off. The only thing that fixes it is bending over, so I looked mental because I seemed to be constantly examining my knees. I was probably talking strangely/loudly too, I couldn't hear myself properly half the time. I also need to go to the thrift store and see if I can't get some pants. Thankfully there's a walk in clinic on the same road as the thrift store, I might be able to get everything done without having to get buses all over the city. There's also a Walmart on that road, I'm not sure if it's between the walk in and the thrift store, tho. F has been telling me to check there for clothes. I'm not necessarily a fan of Walmart, but it would be awesome if I could use it as an option for pants, with money so non-existant. I have no idea what size I might be fitting into now, it will be interesting to find out. For the last week I've been getting so many comments along the lines of "going down to nothing" and "soon going to disappear". When I showed up Saturday morning at work for the staff meeting dressed in civvies, one of the managers that I had closed with the night before looked at me and said "what, did you go and lose 10 lbs since last night??" I thought it was really sweet, actually. He's said some really nice things, never asked for a number, just telling me that he thinks I'm looking great and I should be really proud of myself. I guess I truly am at that stage where 5 lbs can make a difference. All I know is I still feel so big, and I'm starting to understand that it is mostly because of all the sag I have around my middle, mostly. If I look at myself from the waist up I look smaller to myself, but when I see my middle I look so big. I've been reading up a bit on plastic surgery options, and I found out that some clinics will give you financing options, so you don't have to wait and save up the amount beforehand, you can have the sugery and pay it off. There is a woman from WW who is paying hers off for $130 a month, which seems very reasonable to me. It's nice to know that I might not have to wait years and years before I can get myself fixed up. Of course it's not going to happen any time soon either, but it's still nice feeling like it is something I might be able to do before I thought I would be able to manage it. Lots of people pay off cars. I'd be perfectly happy taking the bus and paying off the surgery, I know which one would make me happier!

Earned 5 APs today: 80 min brisk walking

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