It's Delle!

Someone on the WW boards mentioned they read my blog (news to me, I didn't think anybody stopped by here aside from my best friend!), so I thought I should put a little blurb about me. I made this journal so I can keep track of the things I'm doing and how I'm thinking and feeling as I journey along the road to getting thinner. It's not intended to be written to an audience, it is honestly something I am writing to myself, and I find it so helpful to be able to look back even 4 months ago and see what kinds of things I was experiencing...so many of our experiences in life slip through the cracks, and I want to remember as many of them as I can in relation to my weight loss; the good, the bad, and even the oh so ugly ones!

So many people say they've struggled with their weight for years, but this is not tue for me. I've been overweight from my earliest memories, and morbidly obese all of my adult life, but I was not the type to yo-yo diet, so in that sense I was not struggling. I don't know what my highest weight was because I didn't have a scale to weigh myself when I started getting set to lose weight. In the year before I started WW I started trying to eat less junk food and to get a little activity into my routine. When I started WW I was 288 lbs and wearing a size 22, and I know the year before I was wearing a size 26 (which was tight on me), so I'm guessing I was easily in the low 300 lb-range at my highest weight.

For the first year of my weight loss journey I was incredibly focussed and motivated. I was keeping my weight loss a secret from my family back home in Newfoundland, and my goal was to surprise them on my trip home in July. Needless to say it was quite a shock to a lot of people when I showed up over 100 lbs lighter without any warning!

Right now I am getting back on track after my trip back home. I wasn't following WW for a while due to comp issues, not to mention life issues, and I've gained back some of the weight I had lost. I got away from journalling, but I'm back at it again and am using it to help me get my focus back. I also like using it to keep track of my activity, although I've not had an organised execise regime for a few months now due to an injury. I'm getting back into my activity, however, and I will be updating all my numbers soon.

As I said, I don't write in this blog with an audience in mind, but if anyone had any questions or comments on anything here, please don't hesitate to post!

BTW, the name of my blog came from a comment my supervisor at work made one day when I was in the middle of a full-blown rant about something I had to do that was infuriating me. He interrupted me and said something to the tune of, "Don't worry about it you don't have to do it. And my goodness look at you! Where are you going, everytime I see you, you're smaller! It's crazy, you're the incredible shrinking woman!!" The moment was funny and unexpected and seemed to sum up my life right now, so I came home and re-titled my blog.

Now all I need is a cape...

Saturday, February 9, 2008

GOD DAMN!!

...IS THAT ME??!?!?!!

I finally saw it!! I FINALLY SAW IT!!!!! I was in the bathroom and as I always always do when I am passing by the mirror I stopped and examined myself, but I don't know what is different about tonight, whether it is the lack of food or the moodiness or the stiff whiskey I had when I got home that went straight to my head but I SEE IT!! For the first time I truly see it! For some reason it was so apparent to me that I am thinner! And not just by a little bit! Out of nowhere I was gawking at the mirror and squealing..is that me!? Yes, I was sucking in out of habit, but even then...suddenly I looked SO MUCH slimmer than I have ever seen myself to be!!! I don't know if I will look at myself tomorrow and see the same thing, but I wanted to let the record show that for tonight at least, I finally looked at myself and saw that I am different! Different in such a way to make me squeal and dance and jump up and down! I looked for 5 minutes, turning this way and that. 5 minutes, literally. I want to be in there right now, looking! Ohhhhhh this is the closest I have ever come to imagining what it will be like 40-odd lbs from now! I don't understand why I can't see what is there in the mirror, but tonight is the first time I have really understood that I don't see what is right there before my eyes. How can that be? I know psychology and all of that, but still, I don't understand it. How can I not see what I see tonight? I can get my head around how it is a personal thing to interpret a person's behaviours, but this should be different. This is about looking at something "concrete", isn't it? I never would have thought a person could have such a personal perspective on something I always thought was so objective. I'm different, and I'm going to be more different. It's going to happen. Christ, it's happening now!!!!!!!!! Oh god I can't wait to meet the new me...I can't wait for my family to meet her too! I'm going to look some more!!! :D!!!!!

so says delle at 11:15 PM

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