The incredible shrinking woman!: Nail-biting

It's Delle!

Someone on the WW boards mentioned they read my blog (news to me, I didn't think anybody stopped by here aside from my best friend!), so I thought I should put a little blurb about me. I made this journal so I can keep track of the things I'm doing and how I'm thinking and feeling as I journey along the road to getting thinner. It's not intended to be written to an audience, it is honestly something I am writing to myself, and I find it so helpful to be able to look back even 4 months ago and see what kinds of things I was experiencing...so many of our experiences in life slip through the cracks, and I want to remember as many of them as I can in relation to my weight loss; the good, the bad, and even the oh so ugly ones!

So many people say they've struggled with their weight for years, but this is not tue for me. I've been overweight from my earliest memories, and morbidly obese all of my adult life, but I was not the type to yo-yo diet, so in that sense I was not struggling. I don't know what my highest weight was because I didn't have a scale to weigh myself when I started getting set to lose weight. In the year before I started WW I started trying to eat less junk food and to get a little activity into my routine. When I started WW I was 288 lbs and wearing a size 22, and I know the year before I was wearing a size 26 (which was tight on me), so I'm guessing I was easily in the low 300 lb-range at my highest weight.

For the first year of my weight loss journey I was incredibly focussed and motivated. I was keeping my weight loss a secret from my family back home in Newfoundland, and my goal was to surprise them on my trip home in July. Needless to say it was quite a shock to a lot of people when I showed up over 100 lbs lighter without any warning!

Right now I am getting back on track after my trip back home. I wasn't following WW for a while due to comp issues, not to mention life issues, and I've gained back some of the weight I had lost. I got away from journalling, but I'm back at it again and am using it to help me get my focus back. I also like using it to keep track of my activity, although I've not had an organised execise regime for a few months now due to an injury. I'm getting back into my activity, however, and I will be updating all my numbers soon.

As I said, I don't write in this blog with an audience in mind, but if anyone had any questions or comments on anything here, please don't hesitate to post!

BTW, the name of my blog came from a comment my supervisor at work made one day when I was in the middle of a full-blown rant about something I had to do that was infuriating me. He interrupted me and said something to the tune of, "Don't worry about it you don't have to do it. And my goodness look at you! Where are you going, everytime I see you, you're smaller! It's crazy, you're the incredible shrinking woman!!" The moment was funny and unexpected and seemed to sum up my life right now, so I came home and re-titled my blog.

Now all I need is a cape...

Monday, October 13, 2008

Nail-biting

Okay, well perhaps it wasn't quite as bad as all THAT, but things did get harder as the day went on. I felt okay when I woke up, but then out of the blue I would be hit with thoughts about food and what I would like to fill myself up with later on. Then I would be okay for a while, and them, bam, out of no where it would hit me again. I still managed okay, but as afternoon wore into evening I really started getting cravings, and the thoughts of what I actually had here to eat was not tempting me the slightest little bit. I came close to considering giving myself 'one more day' and to be perfect tomorrow to make up for it, but that is the kind of thinking that just creates and maintains the cycle of unleathy eating and binging, and I am relieved that I managed to keep my will power intact. I only wish I could have felt more satisfied after I finished supper, but unfortunately I am left wanting more and still battling cravings. When I was religiously OP I did not have to deal with feeling like this, and I'm trying to use it as motivation to stay OP strictly so that I can get it all out of my system and be able to be satisfied with my meals again. I want to go back to food being an afterthought, instead of my obsession.

Earned 5 APs today: 80 min brisk walking