Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

1 day till Home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-OP: yes
-activity: does housework count??

I was trying to find a particular CD amongst the many that I have (all unlabled of course), and while I couldn't find it, I did find a CD I'd burned full of music from the early 80s, and I decided to leave it in and take a trip down memory lane. I feel so surreal right now.

I figured my trip home would be a good time to put my laptop in to get serviced to address that green fuzz that keeps appearing on the screen. what I had not been expecting was popping over when things were slow and to have them tell me that my harddrive failed the diognostic test and that it needed to be replaced.

So here I am using my very ancient P2 comp, with every wotd an agony to type because the keyboard is just enough off that I am making a huge amount of typos. It doesn't help that the keyboard is so worn that none of the keys have letters on them anymore.......how did I ever type quickly on this keyboard????? every sentence is taking forever now!!!!!

I've been litening to music from home; when I booted up this ancient thing the player ha actuaklly been on a playlist of NFLD music because the last time i used to use this comp was back before my trip two years ago when my bros got me my laptop. I was gleeful and listened to the music for a couple hours while i got things sorted,but it is still not real for me. I am calm, like I was in the hour before Nightwish. I know i will turn into a Spaz tomorrow.

I've thought of this for so long.....and it has not sunk in yet. I will be a Spaz on the plane, without a doubt. I am not able to comprehend the fact that 12 hours from now I will be with my mum. So much of me is still afraid that everything I've done will not make a difference. all I've wanted is for them to notice a real difference, and now I'm terrified that they will not see one. I've wanted this soo badly. I can't believe that the time is almost here. It does not seem real. None of it does. I'd wanted to be asleep long before now, but I would rather be tired tomorrow if it means I can savour the experience tonight....which is odd, because I can't get it through my head, so what experience am I savouring, exactly??

I can hear the sound of fireworks going off....it's Canada Day.....

And sometimes you close your eyes and see the place where you used to live

2 days till Home!!!!!!!

-OP: yes
-activity: yes

I nearly went to bed but wanted to say something here, at least. Today was good but long and I was tired because I was up too late last night. D took me shopping after work and I was able to get new panties, which had been my main goal for today along with getting in a work out. Of course that plan had been made when I expected to not be working today. I was also supposed to get my packing/cleaning done today. Well I finished supper at 11pm and instead of going to bed like I ached to do, I packed my bag and now I'm glad it's done. I still have a few odds and ends to add tomorrow, but it's nice knowing it's pretty much done. In the morning I have to sort out my laptop so I can bring it to work with me to put in for service. I hate losing it, but oh well. I also planned to cook and bake in the morning, but as I look at the time now I am starting to think that is all too optomistic, as late as it is right now. I'm too tired to be excited tonight, but there were times earlier today that I was for a bit. I'll probably do a little better tomorrow. And of course when I wake up Wednesday I will have turned into a Spaz. I get excited thinking about seeing mum at the airport, but other times I just feel fat and unprepared for it all. I dearly wish I could stop feeling like I am too fat to make an impression on them

Okay...bed now.

Earned 6 APs today: 100 min brisk walking